I don't believe in Peter Pan, Frankenstein or Superman, all I wanna do is...

Bicycle! Bicycle! Bicycle!

NB This is not my bike. Nor my image. It belongs

to Google.  But just imagine if it were mine! Ooh la la!

If I wasn't currently in possession of a vélo, there would be so many experiences I would never have had the pleasure of knowing. Bordeaux is ridiculously bike friendly, and so it made sense for me to acquire a set of wheels to get around in this flat, bike lane riddled city.

Let's start with a general daily experience to which I can only really attribute to bike riding- arriving anywhere already sweaty and in need of a shower.  Such is the joy of using an exercise method as your primary form of transport. Never before have I had to carry deodorant and perfume with me at all times. Quel grand plaisir!

More recently I have also had the pleasure of being propositioned on my journey home from work after midnight on a Sunday night (morning?). Might I preface this exchange by saying that I looked a right treat- I'd just completed a 13.5 hour split shift day in a sweaty kitchen, and I was wearing not a scrap of makeup nor eagerness to converse with fellow cyclistes. As I turned the first corner onto a main road to start my swift ride home, I noticed a young fellow ride past me and cast his gaze upon my person. He took this opportunity to comment on the lack of traffic at this time. No shit Sherlock, normal people are at home. Feeling confident after his successful icebreaker he proceeded to observe that we were both travelling in the same direction. Wowsers! What a coincidence on a one way road! I took this break in conversation to slow down so that Casanova could pass me and continue on his way. Alas he only took this as a sign that I wanted to slow down to persue a conversation as he too slowed down so we could travel together. Now for my favourite line of our exchange, "So are you coming home with me?" Smooth operator! Thankfully, my swift response ended our meaningful conversation, and he pedalled on.

As I rode home from my first shift on Sunday, I made a detour via the markets to participate once more in "Smoothie Sunday." Get on board! Currently there is one person I know of who participates in this ritual. She's pretty great. And very attractive. And hilarious. I think she also donates a lot of her spare time and money to charities. Haaaaa! I'm joking! It's me! And I have literally no spare time or money seeing as I work approximately 500 hours a week for less than the legal minimum wage. Anyway. I digress. As I rode home on Sunday, slightly delirious from lack of sleep and solid food, something peculiar occurred. All of a sudden, my bike made very unhealthy sounds when I pedalled and I was no longer travelling forward. The chain had come off! Woohoooo! Time to put all of my bike mechanic skills to use! Oh my goodness you guys, bikes are filthy! At least I was only wearing white shorts and a black and white tee shirt. Nothing to worry about re grease marks staining clothes. However because I am a graceful and skilled goddess, I actually managed to realign the rascal onto the...cog...spinner...wheel...spikey round...thing... Whatever! I got home, and I'm pretty sure the bike is still okay...plus my clothes remained as pristine as before the incident. #lyfskillz

My latest thrilling escapade was carrying two rather large bags of shopping home balanced on the handles. Once more, I'm sure the people of Bordeaux enjoyed the spectacle of Sarah's daily life. My favourite part was when one of the handles of a bag fell off of the handle, and I had to lunge at the eggs to make sure they didn't fall onto the road. I'd paid €2.02 for free range, I wasn't going to disrespect those poor hens!

Finally, the feeling of the wind whipping through my hair as I speed through the rues is one that I have come to appreciate. Helmets aren't enforced, so I needn't ever fret about helmet hair (only excessive sweating) which makes riding so much more accessible. Who knows, I might even ride when I get back to Adelaide. Ha! We'll see.

I hope you're all enjoying access to your cars, and have a good week!

Lots of love from your favourite wanna-be French bicycle bandit xxx

Life hacks!

Eat cheese, drink wine and listen to some sweet tunes to remind yourself that life is okay, and you too are okay. Dancing is optional, but advised.

Bonus life tip: cook your quinoa in stock (or add a stock cube if you're going for the authentic "Sarah in France" experience) to make it taste delicious. What a little salt and artificial flavour can't do!

Lessons learnt from the fortnight past.

1. Laser tag, it's not for me.

If life is all about trying new experiences, and sucking out the marrow, then I've got a new one to add to my arsenal. It was generally agreed that it would be nice for a bit of staff bonding between shifts, so a few Wednesdays ago, I was subjected to the activity known as "Laser Tag." When I told Elisa that I had par taken in multiple rounds of "Laser Quest" in Bordeaux, I was greeted with laughter. Why laughter? Why only because it combines so many of my least preferred things into one neat little parcel of stress. Being chased. Check. Darkness. Check. Loud, horrible rave music. Check. Shooting at others, and subsequently being shot at. Check. Wearing a vest soaked in the sweat of hundreds of others before me. Check. Small children laughing at me. Check. I did live to tell the tale though, so that's something! Let's treat it as just another challenge that this country has thrown at me.

2. The lyrics to "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea

Thank you french radio for putting this song on your must play lists. When I'm lucky enough to be working 11 hours a day (we'll get to that in a minute) with the radio on, I get to hear this song approximately 5 times. This song can also be added to the sub list of things that I can confirm I do not like. She be the I-G-G-Y you guys. Put her name in bold.

3. Split shifts need to be renamed to shit shifts.

Let's cut the BS. Split shifts are the worst. Currently they mean that I can be working from 10.30am until midnight. You do the maths. 13.5 hours at work. (I did the maths for you, sorry if you had your hand up ready to answer). Oh, but it's okay, because yesterday I had a 1.5 hour break. Lollll that's not really okay. It's bloody exhausting.

4. Losing a wallet can be quite stressful.

Last week I lost my purse. I think it must have fallen out of my bag as I was riding home from the shops. Following my minor (read: all consuming) panic and frantic retracing of footsteps/wheels I rang home and employed the help of my dear Mum and Dad to cancel all credit cards. So with no access to money, I raced to the pub to see if I had any tips waiting for me that I could use to get through the next few days before pay day. Lucky for me, there was €16! Yahoo! Thank you people of Bordeaux! This is an ongoing issue, as I'm still yet to be paid, so until then, I'm on the ultimate budget. I'm extraordinarily lucky in that I've never had to really worry about money. So it has been intense having to count each coin and make sure that I can get through the next few days. I am also lucky to be in a situation where I have people I can ask for help should I find myself in an emergency, as I am acutely aware that there are millions of people who do not have this freedom. Silver lining!

5. Perseverance.

Sometimes you've just got to keep on keeping on. Life is not always sunshine and rainbows, even if you're dream chasing in France. I've had to push through and keep trying to sort myself out. Spoiler alert, I don't spend my days laughing and soaking up sunshine on a cafe terrace as I munch on pastries and sip endless cups of tea. One day I'd like to post about being content and feeling full with happiness, but that day is not today. Right now, I'm still searching for a job that I feel happy to wake up for, and where I learn new things and feel like I'm working towards a greater goal, and generally feeling comfortable in this country that keeps throwing curve balls. One step at a time, and of course that great adage, "How do you eat an elephant?" Thanks Walford assembly!

6. I have reconfirmed the power of a shower and nap.

If you feel overwhelmed or just sad, go and have a shower and a sleep. It will help. (And if possible, it also helps to get a spray tan, but that's not really an option for me right now). Warm water and a bed. Winning combos. (Can also be used in reverse for a timeless prank.)

7. Sugar free snacks are not all bad.

So anyone who has ever met me would be aware that I consume A LOT of sugar and chocolate. I realised that perhaps my pack a day (of chocolate) was maybe getting out of hand, and so I started making these little cocoa and date balls to quash any cravings. Very out of character, but I would actually recommend to a friend! I throw some almonds and coconut in too for some texture. I think this has helped curb some of my sugar roller coaster emotions too.

8. Friends are essential.

Yet another spoiler alert in this post- I can experience some excruciatingly lonely stints living alone in a foreign country. Over the weekend, I had time to catch up with some new Bordeaux friends and it was just so lovely. I went out for some drinks with two girls from work on Friday and had a grand old time. Then on Saturday I caught up with one of the Aussies that I met at an "Internations" group catch up a few months ago. Just having a few normal social experiences helped me feel so much happier and calmer about my life. So if you're lucky enough to be in close proximity to a friend or two, I would highly recommend you do an activity together.

9. La Comtesse in Bordeaux is a cool place to hang. 

Here's a fun one for you all! Went here a couple of times, and they do really good cocktails for an affordable France price. Plus the toilet here is crazay. Take my word for it and look up as you're weeing.

10. I am terrible at coming up with even numbered lists. 

Self explanatory. I had to include this, because I know there are a few of you who read this blog who would have a slight anxiety if I'd ended this on 9. You're welcome.

Apologies if this was a slightly upsetting post to read, I promise I'm okay, exhaustion will do that to a usually cheery Sarah. Speaking of which, it's "RUOK?" Day on Thursday! Ask your people how they're doing, because you never know if they've just been waiting for someone to ask. Hope you're all okay!

Lots o' love from Sarah, living her not-so-bad life in Bordeaux. xxxx

p.s. More food pics to come soon, because I know that what you're really hanging out for, none of this real life mumbo-jumbo!

An Ode to Laundromats

When considering France, a land so chic,

It is easy to over look the laverie automatique.

Rows upon rows of machines to share, 

Wash your clothes within, if you dare. 

How much will this cost? 2 euro, maybe 3? 

Non, non, Mademoiselle, "4 euro" the signs indicate with glee. 

"You know, you don't have to separate your lights from your darks." 

But I do, old lady, else my white shorts will have marks. 

And so I sit patiently and wait for my washing, 

Listening in the quiet to the water sloshing. 

Glad to have brought with me, a book, for distraction, 

When 30 minutes are up, I jump to action. 

Never convinced that my belongings are clean, 

I am nervous to dry my clothes in the lint filled machine. 

An uncomfortable experience, my washing I do postpone, 

I long for the day when I have a machine of my own.